My previous buzz of happiness appears to have come to an end.
That is not to say I am sad, not at all. The constant grinning I had has ebbed and I am afraid that I was a bit attached to it and hope it comes back soon. Now I recognize that it could be I am just reflecting my ego, but what reason do I have to not be happy? Ok everyone can look at their lives and say this and that are not going my way but I don’t really care about the things I don’t have or did not get or even the material things I want and are out of reach. I have a lot of things that I am thankful for like the Sangha I practice with and a great family. So why did the happy buzz go away and why am I even attached to it? It is just a feeling. If you are cold, warm your self if you are hot cool off.
I think I just an animal and want to be warm again, I think I am thinking of "I" too much.